May 2010
2 posts
A Guide to Better Enjoying Your Gary Experience
Please note, the posts are in reverse order. So the newer posts are on top. Go to the last page to start the saga from the beginning.
Finally, I always told myself that if I ever had 15 minutes of fame, I would sell-out and sell-out big. With that in mind, why not take a look at one of our wonderful advertisers? And, why not tell your friends about the site?
There’s a facebook group...
May 26: The World According to Gary
IT’S OVER!!! -ish. Gary showed up both sober and composed, and the case was finally heard.
This whole time I had been hoping it would all play out like an epic courtroom drama, where Gary had come up with some sinister web of lies and in the end he calls his surprise witness; James (the tenant he stole from), Dan (the other tenant he evicted) or Mat (the Indian friend he called a...
April 2010
1 post
April 16: Frustration in Litigation
This is quickly becoming the blog that never ends. Apparently, there was a mistake made in Kane County filing that scheduled us for another return date, so once again the “real” court date has been pushed back; May 26th, 1pm. When I’ve gotten over the shock of the realization that I may have to update the dates on all of my posts to include the year, I will try to write more...
March 2010
1 post
March 19: Continual Continuances
This time it was Gary who filed for a continuance. The case has been pushed back again until April 16th. Sorry to disappoint those of you who were hoping for some kind of resolution, but it looks like this whole thing may drag on into eternity.
January 2010
4 posts
Jan 21: Keeping in Touch
Gary finally broke his silent treatment and sent me an email!
Subject: RE: My Offer TO THE QUEER
HEY LITTLE QUEEN/QUEER/BUTT FOCKER: HOW IS ITALY? DID U FIND ANY LITTLE BOYS TO BUTT FOCK YET? ARE U BLOGGING ABOUT YOUR CONQUESTS OF THE LITTLE HELPLESS BOYS? I missed you in court on 1/15/10, the Judge was pissed at you. I HAVE COPIES OF YOUR BLOGS READY FOR COURT….BOLT YOUR ASS...
Great News!
Thanks to the outstanding effort of a fellow Fermilab employee, a continuance was obtained! The new court date is March 19th at 1pm.
Bad News
So, last week on the 8th was the hearing for my motion to get a continuance. I was in India at the time and couldn’t make it, so I sent my sister to stand in my place. Unfortunately, she couldn’t make the drive out to Kane County because of snow. So, the court date seemingly remains January 15th, and neither me nor my sister can make that. I was told I could hire an attorney to...
January 1: Resolutions?
Well, I made it back from Italy. But, I am sorry to say I am going out of town again starting tomorrow for about a month, so I filed for a continuance to get the court date pushed from January 15th to sometime in February. I am also sorry to say that I haven’t heard anything more from Judge Judy or Joe Brown. So, it looks like we’ll have to wait another month for some kind of...
September 2009
2 posts
September 4: Gary and I Set the Date
Today was the return date. If this is your first small claims court experience, for the return date, both parties show up and say that they can’t reach an agreement and an actual court date is set. For Gary and I, this will be January 15th. As for me until then, I will be leaving for Italy September 10th. For those of you that seem to care (and I am still amazed that people seem to...
August 26: Dr. Phil
I am truly climbing the daytime television hierarchy (Oprah, here I come). This last Saturday, I got a call from the good people at the Dr. Phil show. Apparently they want to do an episode like “The Doctors” but with lawyers, where they settle two-sided legal disputes. The bad news; they wanted to fly me out Sunday and film Monday, but I had work both days and couldn’t get...
August 2009
4 posts
August 21: Invoices in Your Head
I received a letter from Gary today that had originally been sent to my father’s house in Indiana and forwarded to me here, so it’s actually from August 3rd. It is an official invoice from Gary stipulating that I owe him $3.27. I’ll try to scan in the actual letters, but can at least give a summary now:
Cover Letter:
Dear Mr. Dunn,
Per your request, I am mail (sic.) your...
August 20: You Got Served
The good news just keeps on coming: Gary was successfully served at his solicitation of a sexual act hearing. I had more pressing things to attend to, but apparently I didn’t miss much. He asked for a continuance, and the new trial date is, I believe, September 24th.
August 19: Judge "Jackhammer" Judy
I got a call from the Judge Judy show, and they are interested in hearing the case! Of course, I will keep you updated on what will certainly be a viscious competition for my favor between Downtown Joe Brown and Jackhammer Judy.
Until any of this is set in stone, the return date is September 4th at the Kane County Courthouse. Having been to one of these already, I am not suggesting you come. ...
Here is the newer voicemail from Gary. This is...
July 2009
25 posts
July 30: Judge 'Downtown' Joe Brown
It’s not a pun, I just like saying the name ‘Downtown’ Joe Brown.
I’ve got good and bad news. The good news is that the Judge Joe Brown show has expressed interest in hearing the case. They are in fact awaiting Gary’s reply.
But now the bad news; scheduling may make it nearly impossible. I am going to be out of the country for work from September until January,...
July 25: Chopping Block
I’m sorry it has been so long since my last update. It seems many, including myself, forgot that I actually have a job. I also can’t make Gary talk to me, and I am hoping to mantain the moral high ground by not needlessly harassing Gary. That being said, I did finally have a good excuse to talk to him. I realized this week that I had left a few items at the house. Most notably,...
July 11: Emoticonvict (That One's a Stretch)
I sent Gary this email early in the day when I thought he would be able to soberly assess the situation:
Subject: Security Deposit
Dear Gary, I filed a claim today at the Kane County Clerk’s office for an amount of $500 plus whatever additional court costs I incur. So far, the costs of filing have been $141.00. This makes the total $641.00. If the judge rules in my favor, you will be...
July 10: Troll, Under the Bridge
This is the first blog I’ve ever written, and was quite possibly the first blog I’d ever seen. So when I saw a number of comments saying that this blog was a “troll” or an example of “trolling,” I was confused. After looking this term up online, and radically changing my definition of the word “troll,” I found that this means some people thought...
July 9: Landlord of the Flies... and not much else
I just found out that the remaining 2 tenants will both be leaving by the end of the month. This means, of the 7 people living in the house when I first moved in, only one will remain; Gary. Maybe they just wanted a change of scenery, but I can’t help but think that the angry man living upstairs that keeps screaming on his phone at 3am and the frequent police visits had something to do...
July 8: Email Exchange with a Hypocritic
Dear Gary, I got your voicemail from last night. In which, you said that I would not be receiving my security deposit because I broke the terms of the contract. The terms that you had sent me earlier were:
1. This verbal rental agreement requires one month’s rent as a deposit and each month’s rent is to be paid in advance. 2. Actual monthly utilities (electric, gas, cable TV & high...
July 8: The Spy (Cont.)
It turns out, I was not the only one privy to last night’s outburst. My old roommate Dan informed me today, that he got a similar message around midnight. Suffice it to say, I am more than a little offended to find out that Gary is leaving other people these messages, AND he even called Dan before he called me.
You fuckin cunt. You cowardly fuckin cunt. You were lead around by the nose…....
July 8: The Holy Grail
Finally, the Holy Grail of Gary correspondence: the drunken voicemail! I guess I slept through his call, but he was nice enough to leave a message. I’ll try to figure out how to get the actual voicemail on here in the morning. Having heard it, I think that it alone may catapult this blog to being bigger than google.
“Gabe… Gabe Dunn you little cunt, you little queer. If you think...
July 7: Poking a Bear with a Stick
Subject: Key Drop-Off
Gary, I dropped off the key with Mike earlier today. Do you have any other reasons for holding on to my security deposit? Let me know, Gabe
Gary’s Response:
GO FUCK YOURSELF… Gary
July 5: Alyssa the Spy (cont.)
Dan was nice enough to forward me this email Gary sent him on Saturday
Subject: JUST CONFIRMING….
DF: U STATED THAT “U DO NOT WANT 2 GET INVOLVED”…..well, just pay your rent, CONT….. DF = DUMB FOCKIN’ CONT….. actually it is about time that alyssa paid me something….just a thought….COWARD, possy-whipped wimp that u r…….. DF,...
July 6: Intro to Psychology
I woke up this morning to another gem from Gary in my inbox:
Subect: WHERE ARE THE KEYS TO MY HOME, YOU QUEER, TINY, BIPOLAR, GABE?????
KISS YOUR DEPOSIT GOODBYE..
First off, sentence structure: phenomenal. Clarity of thought: even better. My response email:
Re: WHERE ARE THE KEYS TO MY HOME, YOU QUEER, TINY, BIPOLAR, GABE?????
Dear Gary, I have no intention of keeping the key I have to...
July 5: A Farewell to my Armoire
I had spent Saturday in Chicago with a friend of mine from college whose parents were heading up a party for Indian Doctors in the Midwest. On Sunday, I hear from my housemate Dan that he was at the house to move all of his stuff, but Gary has screwed the door shut. Dan then called the police, who helped him climb through a window, undo the screw, and move his stuff out. Afterwards, Dan calls...
July 4: Security Deposit Request and Response
Gary, You requested that I be evicted on July 3rd, 2009. I have yet to receive from you the $500 security deposit that I paid along with my first month’s rent. I will be back tomorrow, July 5th, in order to collect the last of my belongings and would appreciate it if you had the deposit then. If I have not received it by July 18, 2009 or have not heard from you regarding this by July...
July 4: Defining Cowardice
I wake up to the following note slid under my door (I’ll attach a photo later):
GABE,
I’M NOT IN JAIL!!!
GARY (Signed and dated)
Favorite things about this letter: I couldn’t tell whether this was supposed to be like an apology, “no hard feelings, I didn’t end up in jail,” or a threat, “I’m outside your door!” That will get cleared up...
July 3rd: Stranger than Eviction
(I always get excited when a movie says its own title in the movie)
At around 1am, I hear loud knocking at the door. I go downstairs to answer the door and see 3 police officers. They ask me if I’m Gary. If there is anything I’ve learned from living at that house, if the police are asking, you are NOT Gary. At this point, Gary, from the top of the stairs screams, “STAY THE...
July 2: Alyssa the Spy
This story was told to me by a couple living in the room next door to me; Dan and Alyssa. Dan is in his room when he gets a call from Gary. Gary asks Dan if he can talk to him outside. Dan reluctantly agrees. Once outside, Gary tells Dan, “Here’s the deal. Your girlfriend has been spying on me for James.”
I absolutely love that Gary thought Dan’s response to this was...
June 30: Oil Leak
My car has been leaking oil for a little while, and I have been trying to get it fixed.
Email from Gary concerning this:
GD: YOUR CAR IS STILL LEAKING OIL LIKE A SIEVE…. GET IT FIXED NOW….. STRONG LETTER TO FOLLOW, Gary
Strong letter that followed:
get your oil leak fixed NOW……MORON
June 21: Houseguest
I decided to let everything at the house cool down and went home to Indiana for the weekend. On Sunday, my friend Lauren, who was planning to look for housing in Chicago on Monday, was staying at the house with me. When we arrived at the house, I joked, “well the cops aren’t here, so that’s a good sign.” I was then informed that I in fact had just missed the police. ...
June 17: The Arrest
Upon returning from work on Wednesday, I find 2 cop cars parked in the driveway. The police inform me that when James returned from the hospital, he discovered his TV, laptop, and iPhone were all missing. When asked about this, Gary claimed he had no idea where they were. The police then found the TV in Gary’s garage. He admitted to having stole the TV, but said he had no idea where the...
June 15: Hospitalization
At around 2am tonight, one of my housemates was loaded on to a stretcher after some alcohol mixed poorly with his medications. My landlord Gary, after yelling at him for an hour, had called the police, and when they arrived, they decided an ambulance was in order. I’m going to try to keep the focus of this on Gary, my landlord/housemate.
June 4: Move-In
I found this beautiful house with a room to sublet for only $500/month! What a steal! The landlord seems a little lame, but nice enough.
Overview
I am making this site to chronicle the craziest living situation I have ever taken part in. In the month that I subletted a room in this house in St. Charles (a suburb of Chicago), the police have come 5 times, my landlord has been handcuffed twice, and one roommate has been hospitalized. The focus is on my crazy landlord, Gary. Gary is a 63 year old, currently unemployed, overweight, homeowner...